Siblings

Siblings have a lifelong need for information; they often experience social and emotional isolation, and have to cope with difficult situations.  They also want to have positive relationships with their special needs brothers and sisters and to be able to choose the role they play in future care.

Sibshops acknowledge that being the brother or sister of a person with special needs is for some a good thing, others a not-so-good thing, and for many somewhere in between.  They reflect a belief that brothers and sisters have much to offer one another - if they are given a chance.  The Sibshop model blends information and discussion activities with new, fun and unique games, cooking activities, and special guests who may teach participants various things (i.e. the various aspects of living with a special need; being blind, being deaf, being unable to walk, etc.).  Sibshops are as fun and rewarding for the people who host them as they are for the participants.

Sibshops are not therapy, group or otherwise, although their effect may be therapeutic for some children.  Sibshops acknowledge that most brothers and sisters of people with special needs, like their parents, are doing well, despite the challenges of an illness or disability.  Consequently, while Sibshop facilitators always keep an eye open for participants who may need additional services, the Sibshop model takes a wellness approach.

The Sibshops model was originally developed by Dr. Donald Meyer in the United States and Sibshops are run throughout the States. The model has been adopted by people around the world, such as in United Kingdom, Belgium, Italy, Iceland, Ireland, Australia and Japan to name a few.

The Icelandic Sibshop

The Icelandic Sibshops was established in 1997 and is a NGO who is financed mainly on funds from private organizations and disability associations. Governmental agencies have also funded our organization.

The Icelandic Sibshop’s vision is that local and governmental authorities in Iceland will have professional sibling services for young and adult siblings. We will achieve this through keep running Sibshops, maintaining information on sibling issues and research, increase awareness of sibling issues and to influence the policies of governmental and local service providers.

Siblings of children with special needs have special needs themselves. While having a special needs sibling presents challenges, it also comes with opportunities. Children who grow up with a sibling with special health or developmental needs may have more of a chance to develop many good qualities. Some of the positive and negative effects facing siblings include:

Unusual Opportunities                                Unusual Concerns/Challenges

Maturity                                                        Embarrassment

Self-Concept and Social Competence              Guilt

Insight/Empathy                                            Isolation, loneliness and loss

Tolerance                                                      Resentment

Pride                                                             Increased responsibilities

Vocational opportunities                                Pressure to achieve

Advocacy                                                       Jealousy

Loyalty                                                          Need for information

Our Sibshop goals:

Sibshops will provide brothers and sisters of children with special needs an opportunity to meet other siblings in a relaxed, recreational setting.

Sibshops will provide brothers and sisters with opportunities to discuss common joys and concerns with other siblings of children with special needs.

Sibshops will provide siblings with an opportunity to learn how others handle situations commonly experienced by siblings of children with special needs.

Sibshops will provide siblings with an opportunity to learn more about the implications of their sibling's special needs.

Sibshops will provide parents and other professionals with opportunities to learn more about the concerns and opportunities frequently experienced by brothers and sisters of people with special needs.

Our sibshops are a combination of information, discussions, problem solving, fun games and the motto is to have fun and be able to participate on your own terms.

Participating in Sibshops:

Gives the children more self-confidence.

Helps the children cope with strong feelings such as anger, disappointment and guilt.

Educates the siblings about special needs and disabilities.

Introduces the children to other children who are in similar situations – They learn that they are not alone with their experiences.

May lead to better communication within their family and with friends.

The children will become more content with their life.

The Icelandic Sibshop – What we offer

Sibshops are held for children and teenagers ages 8 – 18 years. We offer three different types of sibshops. Everyone will begin with our basic workshop which is a week-end long seminar (11 hours total). After that they can continue at our continuing workshops – open house the first Saturday of each month (3 hours) during the school-year (September-May). The open house workshop will offer information, problem solving, discussions and fun games. We will also venture outside – swimming, bowling, etc.

After that the children can continue into our teenage workshop (ages 15-18 years) also held one Saturday a month for 3 hours during the school year. The teenage workshop is responsible for creating our yearly Sibling Magazine.

We will end in the spring with an outing were the siblings invite their families to The Sibling Games one Saturday afternoon. The Sibling Games consist of fun outside games involving all family members and grilling hot dogs.  

We also offer week-end workshops for siblings around the country. In addition we have adapted the Sibshop model for brothers and sisters of children with other special needs, including cancer, for children of people with multiple sclerosis and for children with cerebral palsy. The model can be adapted to various types of groups, including siblings of children with hearing impairment, epilepsy, emotional disturbances and HIV – positive status. It has also been used for children who have lost a family member.

Our Sibshop is a safe and fun place for siblings of people with special needs to work with, learn to cope with and accept their feelings.

The most important thing is that we are creating a space for the children to be together on their own terms, give them a chance to express themselves, listen, ask questions and just to be together.

The result will be that they will become more content with their life.

On behalf of the Icelandic Sibshops

Hanna R. Björnsdóttir

Social Worker and Group Leader